We Think Mateo Can

Support "Mateo Burtch Attacked by Ghost of 'Peanuts' Past" while helping homeless youth

Mateo Burtch

Support Mateo's Campaign!

Donate





The total I've raised pays for:
  • 3 years of support
  • and 2 housing assistance
  • and 1 school application

Donations

NameAmountLocationDate
Mateo Burtch, I'm the ARTIST, dammit!$35San Francisco, CA03/06/2011
Well, at least I'll have raised this much. Unless my credit card is cancelled.
Alyce Gershenson, Fellow word geek$200Belmont, CA03/10/2011
What a great thing to do in between writing gigs! :-)
James Kovar, Comadrona$100Hershey, PA03/10/2011
Well you did it, Mateo. You separated my money from __my kids' mouths/ __refugees/ __my IRA/ __Peter King's IRA/ __my latest eMusic purchase. Well done.
Anonymous, Friend$3503/10/2011
I don't know about this Mateo guy, but I sure like his cartoons!
Nancy sekerak, Friend of friend$50San Jose, CA03/10/2011
Tylie Petersen, Friend$100Morgan Hill, CA03/10/2011
Great work Mateo! Good to hear from you.
Moschel Kadokura, Friend$50Cupertino, CA03/10/2011
The Star Trek cartoon made me bust out laughing. I really do get it, so I must be a true fan. If it wasn't you greeting people at LGHS with "Live long and prosper," who was it? I guess it is just my warped and distorted memory! Thanks for the laugh and good luck with this project.
Sharon Sam, Friend$50San Jose, CA03/10/2011
Nice to hear from you, Mateo! You're cartoons are very good! I like 'em!
Todd Hamor, Friend of a Friend$50San Jose, CA03/10/2011
I particularly liked the red shirt Trek crew member and the drifting eskimo...
lauren asher, Friend$25new york, NY03/11/2011
got your postcard! so swamped. sorry i'm doing such a poor job of staying in touch. i saw i got married, right?
mitch mccalmon, tumultuous, raunchy, but so real$250ellicott city, MD03/11/2011
It's your love I wish to purchase.
Catherine Cameron, bootlick$25San Jose, CA03/11/2011
What? Another infernal cartoon campaign?! Jeesh.
Anonymous, Sister of a Friend$30003/11/2011
I absolutely love your sense of humor.
leslie dill, Friend$25Las Vegas, NV03/12/2011
Go, Mateo...!
Paola Rossaro, Friend$50San Francisco, CA03/13/2011
Your cartoons are too funny!
Anonymous, Friend$10003/13/2011
Anything to encourage Mateo to practice guitar.
Linan Jiang, Friend$25Foster City, CA03/13/2011
Good to hear from you, Mateo!
Katherine Sher, Friend$25Oakland, CA03/14/2011
Eugenia Kao, Barely Worthy Friend$100Irvine, CA03/15/2011
You make me feel completely inadequate. I have neither the artistic skill, nor the sharp-witted humor, much less the philanthropic tendencies. Plus your brilliance, intelligence (and your spelling) are impeccable. I hate you! *HUG*
Charles Simons, Friend$25San Francisco, CA03/15/2011
ha!
Cecile Braun-Jones, Friend$40Boston, CA03/16/2011
Tom Athanasiou, Friend$50Albany , CA03/16/2011
Mateo, this donation hasn't got anything to do with the fact that being homeless sucks. It's solely motivated by the fact that, much as you try to hide it, you are earnest and sincere. It's sweet, really.
Lisa Finley, Friend$50Saratoga, CA03/17/2011
The Star Trek piece reminds me of the bus trip to downtown San Jose with Viola Lee in 8th grade to peruse Star Trek memorabilia in the comic book shops! I believe I was the chaperone . . . Ah, good times! Keep up the writing and best wishes for your campaign! Lisa
Rebecca Chiao, Friend$36Portland, OR03/17/2011
I was looking for the San Francisco Yes We Can anchovy commando canning site, but wound up here.
Paola Lari, Friend of a Friend$10San Francisco, CA03/17/2011
Elizabeth Harris, Friend$50Berkeley, CA03/21/2011
More!
Miles Hochstein, Friend$10Portland, OR03/21/2011
Michelle Berg, Friend$35El Dorado Hills, CA03/21/2011
Don't put initials on any of those cartoons 'cause I'll take the credit. -MB
Aisling Norton, Mortal Enemy$10Dublin, CA03/22/2011
you're some man for one man!
shannon rose, Partner in Crime$25aptos, CA03/22/2011
True story- I was going to donate sooner, but lost my only credit card in a bar. Just got the replacement. Love the cartoon without words. Puts things in perspective.
Laura Hancock , Fellow iron mongers in previous life$35White Salmon, WA03/24/2011
Even though you're a crumb for not telling me you were doing this again, I'm donating--partly to prove that you have friends outside California and partly to assuage my guilt for writing about drones.
Jacqueline Sutton, Friend$50Houston, TX03/24/2011
I've been smiling, laughing, and generally getting my DNA rearranged by you Mateo since I met you way back when at that bowling alley, where you insist I was wearing a red beret. I don't begrudge you that illusion, because truth be told, whenever I'm around you, I'm always funnier. You just rub off that way (don't let your mind go down that slippery slope--it's a figure of speech!) Good luck with your awesome campaign. It's Star Trek for me, so far! ~Jacqui
Anonymous, "Friend"$20003/28/2011
Good work, good cause. Thanks, Mateo.
Rachel Thorson, Hermana de otro cigoto$15Charlottesville, VA03/28/2011
$15--O sea, el valor de 30 tacos! I'm just doing this to bribe you to come visit me in Mexico ;p
Hilary Mine, Friend$50Davis, CA03/28/2011
love the color this year mateo, but it's the 21st century - when will you go 3D?
Lesley Harris, Mateo's fraternal twin adopted by the sane parents $35Santa Cruz, CA03/28/2011
oy vey, not again!
Jana McBurney-Lin, Friend$25Los Gatos, CA03/28/2011
Mateo, My gosh. If it's not one campaign, it's a disaster. One that keeps on growing. I wish I could donate more, but I gave to the Red Cross instead. So don't be comparing this year's donation to last year's and reading some secret sign into it. Your cartoons make me smile, always.
Rebecca Ann Ullrich, Friendly enough$100Albuquerque, NM03/28/2011
The Star Trek and Whack-a-Mole ones are my favorites. And you can't go wrong with Transformers in our house. Thanks for sharing and for sharing the good.
Rebecca Braslau, Friendification$35Santa Cruz, CA03/28/2011
what is it with all of these Rebeccas? Thanks Mateo: you are a role model despite your best intentions otherwise!
Catherine Baird$25San Carlos, CA03/29/2011
Nice to hear from you and see your cartoons again!
Susie Young, Friends in the burbs$239Los Altos, CA03/31/2011
We heart you. Thanks for making us laugh and making us funnier too.
Astrid (Tzuhsin) Huang, Friend$10St. Louis, MO04/02/2011
Good Job, Mateo! I really enjoyed the Transformer and Trojan Horse. Also,I'm looking forward your 3D cartoons next year XD
Alexandra French, Friend$35Honolulu, HI04/05/2011
It's Whack-a-Mole for me. Can't stop laughing over that one!
Pamela Ronald, Friend$50davis, CA04/09/2011
Go Crossroads!
SJ Childs, Friend$25Portland, OR04/09/2011
I think #10, #4, and #2 rock. Ya know old boy you really should have some sort of "like" or "share" button so these could be all over facebook. Oh yeah. You don't DO facebook. Pity, cuz you are good and it would be like free publicity and then someone would want to pay you money and then you would be rich and then you could finally have that nasty scar removed.
Joyce Yokoe, Friend$35Belmont, CA04/09/2011
Hope you win the soap...
Andrea Goldman, Friend$50San Francisco, CA04/09/2011
Sheri Mar, Friend$50Seattle, WA04/10/2011
Great job Mateo!
Ethel Lewis, Friend$50Aptos, CA04/10/2011
J Roger Williams, Friend$50Austin, TX04/11/2011
Anna Young, Friend$50Alameda, CA04/11/2011
What a nice thing you are doing! Got a nice chuckle from more than a few of them...great work for a great cause! Annie
Dana Naughton, poor with small appliances$35State College, PA04/12/2011
This is much better than the car tuning I thought I was getting
Nick Thomas, Mateo$100San Francisco, CA04/12/2011
I'm not late - you just that you got done early.
Susan Green, Friend$50Birmingham, AL04/12/2011
I think Tommy A. got it just right ... Even though there are zero cartoons about my favorite thing in the entire world (yes, that would be pie), your generosity, gentle kindness, and ferociously big heart are just to great not to respond to. Love, Snoozita
Tina Le, Friend$10Fort Worth, TX04/16/2011
You're awesome, Mateo!
Anonymous, Your shadow$1004/18/2011
Mateo, I have two things to tell you: The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones, and, more important, you need more fart gags.
Reid Sams, Friend$25San Francisco, CA04/21/2011
We're all very proud of you, Mateo, and we think you can be a success at skydiving as well.
Kim Chang, Friend$100Basalt, CO04/23/2011
Felicitaciones Matucho! Otra vez, buen trabajo. Te escribo luego. Kim
Gordon Smith, Really, we agreed not to make that public$35Seattle, WA05/13/2011
The cartoons keep getting funnier and funnier. By 'toon 100 they will be weapons of mass destruction!
Mitchell Gitin, Friend$150San Francisco, CA12/13/2011
Better late for 2011 than never, Mateo. Would be great if you could put your 2010 and 2011 cartoons together in some book or e-book form, so that fans of yours, like me, would have some compilation of them. Best of luck, in any event. Your are fabulously talented. Mitch Gitin

Goal

Last year I said that the goal for my campaign was to meet a pouty-lipped French actress. I now realize that was kind of silly. After talking to Charlie Sheen, I've decided that my goal this year is to meet TWO pouty-lipped French actresses, most of the Italian Parliament, an albino deer, and a can of fruit cocktail, and slather them all in margarine at the bottom of a swimming pool while high as a kite on a mixture of aerosol fumes and boa flakes.

Yet not all goals can be that lofty, that noble. So my more immediate goal is to draw 20 to 25 cartoons in the next 30 days or so.

By the way, the cartoons are in reverse-chronological order (that is, first cartoons at the bottom)--not that it really matters that much.

Oh, and last year's cartoons are at http://atthecrossroads.org/campaign/mateoburtch .

I chose this goal because

I chose this goal because my other choice--to create a life-sized model of Angkor Wat made entirely of peanut-butter cups--was impractical.

I figure that the more cartooning I do, the better I will get at it. Of course, I thought that about skydiving, too, and that didn't work out so well.

And maybe, just maybe, someday someone from United Press Syndicate will notice my drawings and say, "Hey, kid--you stole that caption from a Garfield strip from 1986."

I'm helping because

Sure, At the Crossroads does vital work by bringing supplies to homeless youth and being a resource and a friendly ear for them. And that's important. But it's not why I'm helping them out. Frankly, I thought At the Crossroads was helping out TUNELESS youth. And if you've ever heard a sixteen-year-old girl warble through a horrible, off-key version of "Beautiful," you know the importance of curing that problem.

Rob Gitin, ATC's founder, has my glasses and he won't give them back unless I draw some cartoons.

About At The Crossroads

ATC walks the streets of San Francisco, reaching out to homeless youth and young adults on their turf. We work with young people who others have given up on, who would not get help without us. Since we started 13 years ago, we have worked with more than 5,000 youth, helping them build outstanding lives.

Updates

Thirty-one cartoons! Wow. That's more cartoons than Henry David Thoreau, Shakespeare, and Bronco Nagurski ever drew--combined. It's more cartoons than you'll find in all six volumes of "The Illustrated Life of Mohammed," and it's several more drawings than were sent on the Voyager spacecraft in 1974. And I think my cartoons are as funny as, or funnier than, the Voyager drawings, which just show a giraffe at a bar and a caption in binary code of the giraffe saying "Yeah, and at these prices, you won't see a lot more, either."

Thus ends my campaign for 2011 (unless I add some more). I want to thank everyone who stopped by to check out the drawings. Your comments and emails were very encouraging, except perhaps for the ones that read "I would prefer renal bleeding."

And of course I want to give extra-big thanks to everyone who donated to At the Crossroads. You not only encouraged me to keep drawing, you made the phrase "streets of San Francisco" something other than the answer to a Karl Malden trivia contest. You put some hope out on those streets.

And for those of you who still want to donate to my campaign, please do. Although the campaign is (officially) over, you can still donate on this page, and it will count toward my final tally, meaning that I may qualify to win a coveted tote bag full of hallucinogenic drugs and skin care products.

Thanks to everyone.

Casey Cameron wrote:

Why, this cartooning fit is Brobdingnagian!

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And, finally, the last cartoon of the campaign. Cartoon #31.

Jen wrote:

You\\\'ve been watching \\\"District 9\\\" again, haven\\\'t you?

Miles wrote:

My daughter (age 10) and I have carefully reviewed all 30 cartoons, and in her considered opinion this one is the funniest.

Sue Young wrote:

Congrats on creating a cartoon a day!! You rock Mateo!

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Cartoon #30.

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Cartoon #29.

I'd like to dedicate this cartoon to Senator Jim Inhofe (R-OK).

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I skipped a number between cartoons #12 and #13, so this is actually cartoon #28.

This is EXACTLY why I got a 4 on my SATs.

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Cartoon #26.

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Cartoon #25.

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Cartoon #24.

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Cartoon #23.

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Cartoon #22.

Miles wrote:

A powerful postmodern comment on the relationship between visual and propriceptive knowledge, illustrating the ironic tension between different forms of "knowing", and then doubling down on the question by mutualizing the disparity between the "dumb brute, and clever "bright guy" - problematizing the very question it purports to raise: who is the real idiot? It is a question that philosphers have asked for years, but until now few have been bold enough to approach this question in the short visual medium. This classic Mateo is sure to be studied at the Acme School of Cartooning for years to come.

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Cartoon #21.

Lesley wrote:

yaba daba doo! I love this one!!

Sue Young wrote:

yabba daba doo of course! Destination Stoney Field Airport

Sue Young wrote:

yabba daba doo of course! Destination Stoney Field Airport

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Cartoon #20.

I'll pause here in my furious doodling to thank everyone who's stopped by, left a comment, or--especially--made a donation. Thanks to all of you, in particular the donors. As Debby Boone used to sing, "You Light Up My Life."

Debby Boone was later convicted of setting fire to 14 Boston-area churches, flophouses, and nightclubs, and is presently serving a 30-year sentence for arson at the Bay State Correctional Center in Norfolk, Massachusetts.

J D Irwin wrote:

I'm waiting for the day when this comment shows up when I google "Debby Boone".

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Cartoon #19.

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Cartoon #18.

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Cartoon #17. Another superhero cartoon (see cartoon #16). I'm actually reusing this drawing, but I changed it enough so that I'm counting it toward my goal.

Please, please, people, settle down! Life isn't always fair.

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Cartoon #16.

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Cartoon #15. Dedicated to, and from a request by, my friend and former lab partner, Lisa. We did experiments with flatworms, trying to get them to learn sign language, until we realized they had no hands.

I remember Lisa used to work as a tour guide at the old Winchester Mystery House. She would tell the visitors that there used to be frogs there, but they croaked.

We must have liked Lisa a lot to let her get away with stuff like that.

Mateo wrote:

Update: It turns out that the frogs didn't croak.

They were toad away.

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Cartoon #14, as suggested by Mighty Jaime Kovar, Scion of Kathmandu.

Leigh wrote:

What's the difference between a ukelele and an onion?

Jaime wrote:

@Leigh: I don't know, but my ukulele playing sure makes people cry for all the wrong reasons.

Nice work, Mateo.

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Cartoon #13.

Jen wrote:

so happy to have your cartoons- God knows we need 'em here in Sacramento! This one really tickled my funny bone. I think I will have an adolescent sense of humor forever.

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If I could draw just a little better, Gary Larson could definitely sue.

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Cartoon #12.

I'm not sure I really got this one to work, so I didn't spend a lot of time on it.

From a suggestion by the lovely Casey Cameron.

Becky wrote:

Maybe his head could be popping up from underneath a desk or examining table?

Rebecca wrote:

I laughed out loud and I was drinking Diet Coke. Messy, but funny.

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Cartoon #11.

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Cartoon #10.

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Quite possibly the least socially acceptable cartoon I have ever drawn, but, unfortunately, not the least socially acceptable cartoon I will ever draw.

#9, #9, #9....

jaime wrote:

Heh. Do you take requests? If so, one word: "ukelele".

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Cartoon #8.

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By law, EVERY cartoonist must draw at least one stranded-on-a-desert-island cartoon per year.

Cartoon #7.

Hannah wrote:

This is a good law. So funny!

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Cartoon #6.

Mateo wrote:

This one's for Moschel.

I'm not really a big "Star Trek" fan--no more than Moschel, I'd say--but it's too hard to draw funny cartoons of "The Wire."

Leslie wrote:

This one almost made me hoark cookies out my nose...

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Cartoon #5.

JImmy Falkner wrote:

Amelia Bedelia!

Cynthia Gentry wrote:

This one is my favorite. But then, I'm married, and the veteran of one too many so-called "date nights."

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Cartoon #4.

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Cartoon #3.

Sick, sick, sick.

Jacqui Sutton wrote:

Yeah, but it's funny anyway. If the guy even has any gold left in his teeth! Can you say "stitch in the belly from laughin'?" I didn't think so!

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Cartoon #2.

Jacqui Sutton wrote:

It took a minute, but I got it. EXTRA virgin Mary. I kept looking for differences! You funny!

Mary Gregory wrote:

Hilarious! and not just because my name is Mary.

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Okay. Campaign cartoon #1.

Elise wrote:

There is a forbidden love story somewhere in this cartoon and a caption to go with it...maybe it's simply, "Marry Me?"

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Last of the pre-campaign cartoons.

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Wasn't "La Jolla" one of the Jacksons?

Cynthia Gentry wrote:

Hey! What the--! I was born in San Diego, and I have NEVER been surfing! I resemble this cartoon.

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Turns out, clicking your heels and saying "There's no place like the French Riviera" doesn't work.

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Snow cartoons are every cartoonist's favorite.

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This was originally done as a cartoon for At the Crossroads, but it didn't really match what they wanted. As I was loath to throw away the drawing, I just changed the gag. Maybe I should have just thrown away the drawing.

That's the beauty of cartooning. If one drawing isn't working, you just change the caption. I still think the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel is funnier with the words "Pull my finger" on it.

Miles wrote:

I like this one!

Jaime wrote:

Reminiscent of a more ribald 'toon for the "Id", cerca 1984. Oh, and the Nepalese freshwater dolphins thank you.

Rob wrote:

Brilliant re-purposing. Do animals that are endangered last longer when eating them?

Gordo wrote:

I believe the actual caption is "Hey big fella, you like tuna? I got something that tastes like tuna fish for you."

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I'll warm up with a few cartoons that I've drawn recently for various folk. These don't count toward my goal.

Unless I decide they do.

I was commissioned by some very nice people to do some Republican-Democrat cartoons (making fun of both parties). This is the only one I came up with that wasn't an in-joke.

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