#NoFinishLines

It is a cold, winter night in Downtown San Francisco. ATC counselors, Diana and André are walking down Market Street, talking to folks and offering socks and gloves in addition to candy, first aid supplies, and toiletries. They run into a client they’ve known for over four years, Jordan, who has a friend with him.

“Hey, guys! This is my friend Jamal—I told him you guys are cool and that you can hook him up with food and stuff,” says Jordan.

André and Diana talk with Jamal and learn that he has a kid, isn’t in school right now but wants to be, and that his favorite candy is Snickers. After that night, they start to see Jamal on outreach every now and then. Slowly they learn more about him, but he doesn’t share a lot; one day he mentions a movie he just watched, another day, he shares a song his two-year-old son loves. Sometimes he takes supplies—snacks, socks, a comb—but sometimes he just hangs out and talks for a little bit. Every time counselors see Jamal on the route, they let him know that he can call ATC any time if he wants groceries or would like to talk to a counselor, but he usually nods and doesn’t take them up on it.

One night, over a year after first meeting Diana and André on outreach, they see Jamal on Market Street and he asks for ATC’s phone number…*

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When Jamal arrives for his first meeting at ATC, Diana asks him whether he’s eaten yet—he hasn’t. 20 minutes later, over a warm plate of food from a nearby restaurant, Jamal starts to open up about why he wanted to meet.

“I’ve been staying with my friend most days and helping out at his apartment. But he has a new girlfriend and says I can’t stay with him anymore. So…I don’t really have anywhere to go.”

Diana thinks through some options Jamal might have for emergency places to stay, but listens to Jamal and takes his lead. As they talk, it becomes clear that Jamal really wants his own apartment. He wants his three-year-old son to be able to live with him, at least part-time. Diana thinks of a couple of housing programs that might be a fit for Jamal based on his age and situation, but he’ll need to have certain documents in place to apply.

Back at the ATC office, as Jamal chooses groceries, he opens up about some of his longer-term dreams. He wants to go back to school. Someday he wants to become a lawyer so that he can fight for people like his brother who has been incarcerated for over seven years.

Over the next hour, they break down some of Jamal’s goals into smaller, immediate steps. The first thing Jamal needs is a California ID. Diana explains that this process involves filling out a form and going to the DMV. They start by filling out an ID voucher which will waive the processing fee. Then they set up a time to meet next week and go figure out the next steps…*

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Over the next few months, Jamal and Diana work together on several goals. Jamal gets his ID, then starts a new part-time job. Diana lets him know about a housing program that he is eligible for, and he decides to apply. He asks Diana to support him through the application process.

Jamal completes the application with the exception of his social security card, which he needs a new copy of. In the meantime, he continues to report his income to the program case manager to remain eligible for placement. When Jamal finally has his card, Diana calls Jamal’s case manager to check-in. She calls three times over the course of a week and hears nothing back. Finally, she learns that the case manager is out for the month and that there is no update on Jamal’s application; so Diana makes a note to call next month. The entire time Jamal waits to hear about the program, he does not have stable housing and is couch surfing and occasionally staying in shelters or outside.

A month later, Diana talks to the case manager who says that Jamal can no longer qualify for the apartment because he earned too much money in his holiday paycheck at his job (he picked up a couple of extra shifts during the busy season). When Diana tells Jamal this, he is crushed. He feels like after all that work, they are back to square one. For a couple of months, Jamal stops meeting with ATC weekly. He sometimes says hi on outreach, but he doesn’t call the office.

One day, Diana learns of a new housing subsidy that Jamal might be a fit for. She gives him a call and explains, “I know that this process has been long and frustrating and I understand if you don’t want to do this anymore. But I think there’s another program we can get you in that might help you get an apartment.” Several intake calls (and months) later, Jamal is awarded the housing subsidy and tours two apartments that he can rent. He chooses the larger apartment that’s in the East Bay so that he has room to have his son stay with him.

The day that Jamal gets his keys to his new apartment, he meets with Diana to pick up kitchen supplies and bedding for his new place. He is nervous and excited about having a place to call home…

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About two months later, Jamal calls ATC and leaves a message for his counselor late one evening. He says he’s thinking about leaving his new apartment and describes how lonely he is feeling living on his own. He hasn’t seen his best friend in over a month; they used to see each other almost daily. Sometimes his neighbors are noisy late at night and he’s having trouble sleeping.

Diana calls him back first thing the next day and they set up a meeting to talk. They sit down to eat together.

“I didn’t realize it would be so hard. I mean not having an apartment was one thing and for sure, I’m grateful to have a place, but it’s still really hard,” Jamal tells Diana.

“It makes sense that it’s challenging. Moving into a place on your own is a really big adjustment. Can you tell me more about what isn’t working for you at your new place?” Diana asks.

They meet for over an hour. Jamal describes how he’s not sure he wants to keep living in the apartment and he’s worried about getting off on the wrong foot with other people in the building.

Diana listens to Jamal explain the challenges of his new place. She lets him know that it’s his decision whether he wants to stay in his new place or not. She asks him whether he’d like to explore petitioning for a new placement or if he wants to come up with ideas of how he can make his new apartment work for him.

Jamal isn’t ready to move again quite yet. Together they work out a few steps that Jamal can take to feel out if his new place is right for him. He’s going to try to talk to his neighbor about the noise. He’s going to call a friend after their meeting and make some time to hang out with them. He’s going to hang some posters on the walls so the apartment feels a little homier.

A couple of weeks later, Jamal leaves a message for Diana: he had an okay conversation with the neighbor and he’s decided to try staying in his apartment for at least six months to give it a chance and try to make it his own…*

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Years pass and Jamal no longer meets with ATC counselors weekly. He stops by once a month to check in. Sometimes he gets food if he needs some extra groceries that month—but most of the time he wants to talk to his counselor about the relationships in his life, how his college classes at SF State are going, or share something one of his three kids did that made him laugh. He meets most often with his counselor Rowan these days.

“Do you realize that you’ve been coming to ATC for over 10 years?” Rowan asks Jamal as he hands him a card signed by the ATC counselors with a gift card to celebrate his recent birthday.

“Has it really been that long?” Jamal laughs and picks up his kids’ favorite cereal from the shelf.

Together they reflect on the years that have passed; the counselors Jamal has worked with, what Jamal’s goals were when they first met and where he’s at today: living with his kids and studying to go to law school. Rowan reflects back to Jamal how persistent he’s been at figuring out what he wants to do and doing whatever it takes to make it happen.

Jamal shares with Rowan the ways that he’s been taking care of himself during a stressful finals season at school. “I even decided the night before my big test, just to watch a movie with my kids so that I could relax. I felt like, you know what? I know this stuff. I’m ready. And I passed!”

As the months go by, Jamal may not know what the future holds for him and his family, but he knows that no matter what, he can always call up ATC to celebrate his proudest moments and to have a listening ear when he needs someone to talk to.*

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